Sitting next to me on the train today was Empress Elizabeth of Austria. She was very chatty. At Chesterfield, she waxed eloquent on how boring she found being royal; at Wakefield, she explained how she thought that republicanism was superior to the monarchy; at Leeds, she told me how she is a keep fit fanatic, using a trapeze and weights to exercise; and at Darlington, she revealed how she takes three hours to do her hair every morning.
Not really, because she was killed by an assassin at the end of the nineteenth century, but she might as well have been with me because I was completely captivated by a biography of her as I travelled through flooded landscapes. I did think, though, that in her outspoken way, she might have had something to say about Virgin trains driftwood centerpieces which I bet would have been worth hearing.
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